Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ, Dear Friends
Today, I would like to invite You Dear Friends for another way to see the truth about Holy Mass, Holy Eucharist. Please, look at this carefully with a prayer to the Holy Spirit.
The transformation of possession into offering
The maturing of human love can be seen as a more and more complete transition from the desire ‘to have’, ‘to posses’ into personal self-sacrifice. In the period of love and engagement, as well as in the first years of marriage and parenthood, although these are beautiful moments, it is often in the mutual reference to each other, in gestures and words, first possession. Often the adjective ‘my’ is used: my friend, my boyfriend, my girlfriend, my husband, my wife, my child. The more loving people are insecure, the more they stress the element of ‘having‘ in love. This is undoubtedly a stage in the development of human love and there is nothing wrong with it. A mature love, which is a transition from having, possessing, to self-sacrifice for each other, we learn slowly and gradually. Maturing in love requires patience. ‘Love is patient’ – wrote Saint Paul in the hymn about love (1 Corinthians 13,4).
Jealousy is not an expression of love.
The tendency to have someone in love is expressed in focusing on personal experiences, feelings about oneself in pursuit of a selfish search for a sense of security. It is often accompanied by a feeling of jealousy. Lovers are often suspicious and jealous of each other. They are afraid of losing the desired ‘object‘, hence the feeling of danger and uncertainty. The feeling of jealousy exists not only in the state of falling in love, in engagement or marriages, but also in friendly relationships. The greater the desire to have a loved one for yourself, the deeper the feeling of jealousy. Jealousy reveals the immaturity of love, lack of mutual trust and fear for oneself.
The feeling of emotional possession encircled with jealousy restrains, captivates and deprives immature people who love the joy of mutual giving oneself with love. In ‘love of madness’ marked by emotional possessiveness, freedom above all is lacking.
If ‘first love’, falling in love, turns into a lasting, deep loving relationship, it must undergo purification, evolution, to free itself from the tendency to possess, to take over the other for themselves. In order to make this possible, a loving person should give up seeking to satisfy their own desires first. Freedom in love is expressed, inter alia, in taking a distance to one’s own needs. Love that matures, seeks freedom. The more mature human love is, the more freedom, trust and devotion in mutual relations. Only personal inner freedom and mutual freedom in the relationship of love allows one to perceive and realize real mutual needs, desires and wishes.
Sometimes promising marriage relationships end in marital break-up because they lack real freedom. Lovers entwined with each other only by captivating feelings, mutually constrict, and often humiliate. For when the selfish feeling of emotional possession dominates the love relationship, then the attitude of demand and the willingness to subordinate the other and match it to their own needs and desires comes to the fore.
The Eucharist is a sign of the attitude of offering.
For love to mature, it is necessary to change consciously from having, to sacrifice for one another. Attitudes of sacrifice cannot be demanded from a neighbour, to demand her or him. It is a gift taken in freedom. People who love do not wait until the‘other side’ begins the process of changing ownership into offering. This process must be started first from each other.
Generosity in love also makes us give up a kind of ‘measuring’ of my gift for a loved one. A slight calculation of what I am giving is a symptom of avarice and seeking only for myself. Such behaviour contradicts the attitude of offering oneself to one’s neighbour.
Jesus is the supreme model of offering Himself in love. He gave himself ‘to the end’ in love for us, that is, until death, and it was the death of the cross. The Prophet Isaiah said: ‘He was being wounded for our rebellions, crushed because of our guilt; the punishment reconciling us fell on him, and we have been healed by his bruises.'(Isaiah 53, 5). During the Last Supper, Jesus transforms the bread into his Body and wine into his Blood. Jesus, giving them to his disciples to eat, he said: ‘This is my Body given for you (…) This cup is the new covenant in my Blood poured out for you.’ (Luke 22, 19-20). The Son offers his total disposition to his Father along with his Body and Blood – for us and to us.
The passion and death of Christ, the presence in the Eucharist, are the enabling sacrament for the transformation of possession into sacrifice. Jesus willingly gives himself over to his Father and all that he is and what he has: his will, his physical freedom, his disciples – his friends, his good opinion, his health, and finally his own human life. Christ ends his earthly existence on the cross with the words: ‘Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.’ (Luke 23, 46).
The process of our transformation of possession into sacrifice becomes possible thanks to the Eucharist. By participating in it, we are invited to enter the same dynamics of transforming ownership into offering.
How many families and friendships did not break up because one party dedicated and sacrificed itself for the common good, also when the other side remained on the level of selfish self-seeking and self-interest? How many marriages have not been divorced due to the fact that one of the spouses took on almost all the burden of living together? A generous sacrifice in the service of the loved one is an expression of authentic love.
The love in which we give ourselves for the good of the other person is not easy, and the overcoming of the temptation to possess, to accept the attitude of sacrifice, takes place in a long process of struggle, struggle and self-development. This process, however, never ends. The ideal of sacrifice and offering, which is constantly revealed to us in the Eucharist, will remain a constant call for change and growth. The Eucharist transforms us into the attitude and possibility of sacrifice, of offering ourselves. Another reason to fall in love with it.
With love, friendship and prayers – Fr Marcin